If my memory services me correctly, and I think it does, it was in 1995 when I appeared as a contestant upon television program The Iron Chef. Regrettably, my defeat was to such an extent that it would dishonour my ancestors even more to speak of it here. I vowed from that day that I would never cook again. I managed to obtain the network's master copy of this episode, and in a rage wiped the tape so my shame could never be witnessed again. Or so I thoughtâ¦
It has come to my shameful attention that this hated master video tape was not completely wiped despite my efforts. Thankfully, no images remained, but some audio was still evident. The magnetic wiping process as distorted the audio to such extremes that it is surely beyond the recognition of anyone except for my shameful self, yet some knave has seen fit to release this distorted shameful memory to the public at large. To the unsuspecting listener, the cries of "Corn!" and "Foie Gras" amongst the layers of distorted noise will simply arouse confusion, or mild curiosity at the most. Yet for myself, it brings back those shameful memories of eels overcooked, sea urchin under-salted, and caviar forgotten.